Its weird how a few events in one’s life can change the way they perceive the world, or at least in this case the virtual one.  I fondly remember the days of old in World of Warcraft when I set out to become the greatest Mage known to mankind (only to then become known as the “World’s Greatest Floor Taster”, but that’s a story for another time).  I used to regularly attend End-Game Raids that could last upwards of eight hours, only to receive a few useless medals, and yet it wouldn’t bother me.  Back then, I had a purpose, and was determined to fulfill it.  Through this goal, I made some friends that I hope will remain by my side for the rest of my gaming days (though sadly as of right now we have all gone our separate ways… here’s to hoping SW:ToR re-unites us!).

After departing WoW, I made my way over to Warhammer Online, and though I no longer had such a hardcore mentality, I still wanted to make a reputation for myself.  As Firstto Fall, the Magus, well… yeah I guess its fairly obvious of what my reputation was, hahaha.  Once again, I made many great friends and enjoyed my time spent there tasting dirt as well.  Then came the great decline in my enjoyment of WAR, and soon my guild moved to Aion, hoping for greener pastures.

As some of you may know, this was when my writing really took off, as I was seriously hyped up for Aion.  I wrote almost daily for a few months, created, guest-hosted, and was mentioned on a few podcasts, and truly believed I had finally found a nice place to settle and hopefully relive my old glory days from WoW.  Sadly, Aion’s game mechanics obviously had something else in store for me, and I soon found myself deep within a grind that I, along with many others, simply could not stand.  I took a break for a few weeks, purchasing Fallen Earth on a whim, and enjoyed that for awhile.  Yet, once again, something just didn’t click for me there either.  I began to realize that I am a huge sucker for MMOs because I always love the beginning content and openly assume the game can only get better from there and that it will fill the empty void within my gaming heart, which these days just doesn’t seem to be the case.  Missing my friends from WAR/Aion, I re-subbed to Aion, hoping that my extended break would give me a refreshed perception towards the game.  For awhile, it did, and I was very happy to be playing with my comrades once more.  Sadly, my false hopes were soon crushed by the brutal reality that I was simply no longer having fun in the game.  Coupled with the fact that my guild has decided to move towards a direction I no longer wish to partake in (not to say the guild is bad, its just simply no longer up my alley), I realized there is just no reason for me to play Aion anymore.

So now, here I am.  I am a guildless nomad, wandering the desert of MMOs in search for Utopia, for it seems only there can I find true endless gaming happiness.  Currently my travels have taken me to the far reaches of space in EVE Online, a game full of endless knowledge and harsh realities.  Could this be the game I’ve been searching for after so many years?  Doubtful.  In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found some issue in that game within the next few weeks that  causes me to continue my never ending search elsewhere (more than likely I’ll lose some major ship to those darn Space Pirates!).  That’s not to say EVE Online is a bad game, its just that after having gone through so many MMOs, I can’t help but think that something will go wrong, and I will eventually move on.  The point of this post isn’t to convey that playing MMOs is a meaningless activity, because I have enjoyed my numerous roads traveled.  Its just that I’m beginning to question if I will ever find “The One”.  The game where I will be unable to find faults, or if I do they will be so overshadowed by pure awesomeness that it won’t matter.  As history has taught us, this just doesn’t seem realistic.  Sure, strong contenders such as Global Agenda and Star Wars: The Old Republic are visible in the far horizon, but how do I know the same thing won’t just happen again?  Have I become overly critical of what I consider worthy of continually injecting my cash into?  Is my quest for the ultimate MMO unreasonable?  Perhaps I should just sit down, shut up, and enjoy the ride?  What do you think?